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| A Note To Self |
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| Written by Teska Future | |||
| Friday, 27 July 2007 13:49 | |||
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Title: A Note to Self (1/1) Author: teskafuture Rating: PG Pairing: Ten/Rose Setting/Spoilers: Spoilers for part of Human Nature. If you know what the Chameleon Arch is and what is does, you won't be spoiled too much. So, rather AU in series 2. Disclaimer: The BBC owns it all, and they are making much too much money off of me. *grin* Author's Note: Ginormous thanks to my betas humansrsuperior, rhoboat, and sensiblecat as this would never had been finished without you! Thanks for putting up with me! And special thanks to dnamadscientist with all the help of getting London right! *grin* Summary: What would happen if the Doctor was still travelling with Rose, and they were in modern day London instead when the events of Human Nature began? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rose's feet felt numb after the constant running. She crashed into the TARDIS door, her momentum completely thrown off. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she fumbled around for the key, never looking back. She prayed the Doctor was behind her as she turned the lock, the door finally giving way to let her in, the Doctor at her heels. She tripped, catching the console with both hands to keep her upright. The hum around her was completely blocked out by the loud panting that she realized was coming from her own mouth. She barely managed to straighten up when she felt the Doctor’s hands pull her around. “Did they see you?” he gasped. He was staring wildly at her face, his voice in a panicked state that she had never heard before. Rose was shocked speechless for a moment, extremely aware of the hands digging into her shoulders and the fear radiating from his eyes. Before he had a chance to repeat the desperate plea, she managed to squeak out the answer. “Course not. We were running away from them…” The Doctor raised his head with a look of defeated acceptance. “Go and pack your things; you’re going to be visiting your mum for a while.” “What?” she asked, anxiety coursing through her speech. Her finger quickly came out and was thrust straight towards into his chest. His head dropped to stare at protruding appendage as the angry words bellowed out, “Oh, you are not getting rid of me!” The Doctor realized her fear instantly and changed his tone. “Rose, you trust me, right?” His voice was calmer, firmer… the man with a plan... the one on whom she always depended. “Of course I do,” she instantly responded, suppressing the annoyance at his even having to ask. He managed a twinge of a smile at the quickness of her response. “Good. Because it all depends on you. Now, please pack and then I’ll explain.” Rose slowly nodded her head and turned towards her room. Her hand traced the frame of the doorway and she looked back once more to find him watching her. He smiled, one of his reassuring grins which made all her fear dissipate. Whatever was happening, he was not getting rid of her, she was certain. As soon as she thought it safe, Rose managed one more peek into the control room. Her eyes followed him as he headed to the monitor. He played with the dials for a moment before tapping the screen. “Is this thing working?” she heard him ask before settling into the captain’s chair. She accidentally bumped the doorframe, loud enough that he looked in her direction. Stifling a gasp, Rose quickly ran to her room, hoping to get back to discover what it was he was truly doing. As instructed, she began to pack, as fast as she possibly could. The Doctor said she was going to be visiting Mum for awhile. How long was a while? The Doctor never liked staying anywhere for long. What could possibly cause him to want to go home for any length of time? With every searching thought, each article of clothing was slammed harder and harder into her bag. Finally, with a slightly frustrated outburst, she zipped the bag closed and headed back for some answers. Rose was just walking in when she caught sight of the Doctor sitting back down and staring at the monitor. “And thank you,” he said, leaning over to press a button nearby. “Okay, explain yourself,” she said, dumping her bag by the seat and startling him into looking at her. “What were you doing?” “I was leaving you a note,” he answered plainly. “For when I’m gone.” “Gone?!” she responded, a fuming anger beginning to boil. “You already said you’re not dumping me!” “I’m not!!” he matched in tone, though for a much different reason. Rose stood there in silence for a moment, watching his eyes, those warm brown eyes that did not contain anger. The edges of her mouth curved upwards as a small chuckle managed to break free through her lips. “What are we arguing me about?” she questioned rhetorically. The Doctor shook his head as he muttered, “I don’t know.” She watched him, barely cracking a smile and knew things were serious. Biting her bottom lip, Rose attempted to keep things light. “Alright, so, what were you talking about? What do I have to do?” He took a deep breath and his hand rose to rub the back of his neck, as if the motion would help him come to the realization that he was truly accepting this course of action. It seemed to work as his expression took on a look of serenity as he rummaged through a drawer and extracted a watch. Rose watched with curiosity as the antique bobbed in his hand, symbols like that on the monitor delicately lining the cover. “Take this watch,” he informed her, placing it in the air in front of her face, “And whatever happens, don’t lose track it, because my life depends on it.” Rose’s eyebrows converged in confusion. “Why? What does a watch have-” “Rose,” the Doctor interrupted, grabbing her hands and placing the timepiece in her palms so she could feel the metal along her skin, “this watch is me.” Rose just stared at him, waiting for him to begin rattling off whatever was going on and hoping to catch some glimpse of what he actually meant. “Those creatures are hunters. They can sniff out anyone, and with me being a Time Lord, well…” She tried to resist giving an equally cheeky response to the facial expression that crossed his face. She failed. “You smell?” she asked in mock innocence. An eyebrow cocked, as he responded, “I’m unique.” The Doctor left her, watch still in her hands and started bounding about the control console again. “They can track me down across the whole of time and space.” “So, what are we going to do?” she asked, keeping all anxiety out of her tone. He had a plan, and she needed to keep a cool head about this. Whatever needed to be done, they would do it. The Doctor stopped as his expression clouded over. “I’m going to change. Rewrite my biology.” “What?! You’re not going to regenerate again, are you?” “No,” he said, softly. “I’m going to stop being a Time Lord for a while.” He watched the confusion dig even deeper into her psyche. She had come so far in such a short time. Regeneration she could contemplate, but this... The Doctor slammed on another button and a device fell from the ceiling, a heavy cord causing it to remain suspended in the air after its motion had ceased. “Never thought I’d have to use this,” he told her, apprehension in his voice. “It’s called the Chameleon Arch. It will make me another species. Preferably human.” Rose stopped herself before asking the same one word question yet again. Her mind rushed with the implications of what he was saying. “But, what will happen to you?” “This,” he said, taking the watch out of her hands, “will be me. Everything that I am. While this,” he then pointed to the dangerous contraption above their head, “will make me human. Now, the TARDIS will take care of everything: invent a life story for me and integrate me into society. You can stay with your mum and look after me. It’ll only be for three months. I’ve left you some instructions. That’s what I left on the monitor.” Rose nodded her head slowly, took a deep breath, and then pulled out her mobile. “What are you doing?” he asked. She looked back at him slightly flabbergasted. “You just said that I’m going to have to take care of you for three months while you put yourself into a watch! I’m ringing my mum!” The Doctor’s mouth opened to speak, but she shut him up with a stern look and a finger pointed at his face. The phone connected. “Hello, Mum?” “Rose, is that you?” The shrill voice of Jackie could be heard on the other end of the line. “How are you doing, sweetheart?” “I’m fine, Mum, but I need you to do something. I’m, uh, coming home to visit you for a little bit and need you to get a flat for, um, the Doctor.” “Oh, you’re coming home! For how long?!” The happiness in the voice was evident even to the Doctor across the room. Rose took a deep breath. “Three months.” “Three months!!” Rose winced as her voice got even higher. “That’s wonderful, sweetheart! Mr. and Mrs. Begum are going to Bangladesh for the summer to visit his parents. They’ll be thrilled to have someone looking after the place and paying rent while they’re gone. As long as the Council don’t find out everyone’s laughin’. Just tell the Doctor to keep a low profile; he always manages to draw attention to himself, somehow.” “Thanks, Mum,” Rose said, relieved, “we’ll be home soon.” She hung up the phone and the façade quickly dropped from her face. Her eyes were filled with compassion and determination. “’kay, what do I need to do?” The Doctor was able now to smile at her. She truly was amazing. “Just, listen to the instructions I’ve made, and you’ll be fine.” Rose smiled at that, reaching up to pull him into a deep hug. “You come back to me,” she whispered, edging on a plea. “Always,” he answered softly before pulling her back from him. He paused for a moment, allowing air to flow in and out of his lungs, feeling the beats of his hearts, before he pulled the Chameleon Arch upon his head. “I have complete confidence in you.” He smiled once more at her before putting his hand on the switch. It was time. Suddenly, he stopped. “I forgot an instruction,” he stated. “Now, this is very important. Don't let me eat pears.” “Pears?” Rose questioned, slightly confused but also filled with worry. “Why? Will they kill you?” He scoffed. “Of course not,” he retorted, the Doctor's anxiousness escaping in a belittling tone. “I don't like them. Nasty things.” His face contorted in a disgusted pose to demonstrate his point. Rose rolled her eyes. However, the lightheartedness of the exchange vanished as he threw the machine into action. She swallowed hard, forcing the water at the back of her eyes to stay there. It was not the time to mourn; she had a job to do. Before her eyes, Rose watched as the Doctor disappeared completely. *** Jackie heard the distinct sound of the TARDIS landing in Rose’s bedroom and had a conniption. Bolting towards the door, she stood there simmering, waiting for the occupants to appear. She did not have to wait for long. “Don’t you dare think that box is staying there for three months!” she yelled as soon as Rose came out. Her excitement over seeing her daughter was overshadowed by the possibility of having a spaceship taking residence in her flat. It also blinded her to the fact that Rose looked pale as she exited the TARDIS alone. “Mum! We don’t have time for that. Help me get him out.” Rose quickly re-entered the TARDIS. Jackie followed and immediately saw the familiar face lying on the floor unconscious. “Blimey, what has he done to himself now? At least he looks the same this time.” “He’s not him anymore, Mum,” Rose answered, sorrow twinging the edge of her voice. Jackie’s eyes grew wide as she finally heard the emotion coming out of her daughter’s mouth. “He’s something… different," Rose continued. "I can’t explain it right now, but we got to get him outside the flat before he wakes up.” “Oh, alright,” Jackie conceded, bending down to grab his shoulders. Rose grabbed his legs and carefully, they blundered through the building until they finally made it outside. As they propped him up against the wall, Jackie continued to look for more answers. Hands on her hips, she glared at her daughter expectantly. “Are you gonna tell me now?” Her answer was a moan from the man against the wall. “Do you have the key from the Begums?” Rose asked instead. Jackie nodded. “Upstairs.” “Good, go get it, and I’ll bring him by. Just… uh, when I bring him… you don’t know him, okay?” The unconscious figure began to moan again. “Hurry up! Before he sees you!” Jackie started backing up towards the door, an expression of bewilderment still lining the contours of her face. “I still expect an answer out of you.” Rose bobbed her head emphatically, attempting to hide the irritation before turning to the man beside her. Before disappearing from sight, Jackie watched her daughter drop to her knees, waiting for the unconscious man to open his eyes. *** The first thing he saw was a gorgeous young blonde looking ever so worried over him. “You okay?” she asked. “I, um, ah, yeah, I think,” he managed to mumble and he tried to move himself into a standing position. It did not quite work, and he slumped back down. “Careful,” the woman said to him. He looked around him, memories slowly coming back. He had just come to London to teach for a short time until… Oh, until when was not important. But, he seemed to have been mugged and knocked out by someone. Maybe. He could not quite remember that happening. He closed his eyes, attempting to force jumbled memories into some linear order. It was not working, but that did not really matter right now. Pushing the confusing thoughts of the past behind, he decided to concentrate on the present. He looked at her with curious wonderment, and he felt his heart drop right down into his stomach when this lovely woman managed the sweetest smile at him, even with worry still in her eyes. “Let me help you up,” she said softly, grabbing under his arm. “Th-thank you,” he stuttered. “Um, I appear to have lost my bearings. But, this is the Powell Estate, correct?” “Yes, it is,” she answered. “I’m Rose. Rose Tyler.” *** Rose was torn with the hope and despair that clung to her as she introduced herself. Would her name trigger anything? Part of her knew that he could not remember who she was; it would mean that the Chameleon Arch did not work and they could be found. However, she could not deny the other part of her that desperately wished that he was still in there. “Tyler!” the man exclaimed, happy recognition in his voice, and hope leapt into Rose’s chest. He remembered! Oh, was this good or bad? “Mrs. Tyler was the name of the woman who has the key to my flat for the summer.” Just as the Doctor had said-- completely another man. Looked like him, sounded like him, but it was not him, and letting herself get upset about that would not help anyone, least of all the Doctor.. “That would be my mum,” she told him, keeping all familiarity out of her voice. “Jackie Tyler. I can lead you there to get your key, Mr…” “Oh, terribly sorry,” the man with the face she loved answered. “Where are my manners? Hello, I’m John Smith.” He gave her a shy, nervous smile and extended his hand to her. It felt so odd to shake his hand. Such a contradiction to her senses. The hand itself she knew so well, but with the man inside so different… the touch was all wrong. But that did not matter. She promised the Doctor to look after him, and look after him is what she would do. “Well, John Smith, nice to meet you.” She flashed him another smile and immediately knew it was a mistake. The interest that sparkled in his eyes was unmistakable. Oh, she hoped the Doctor left her some instructions on what to do about this! And now came the harder task... What would her mother think of him? *** “Why don’t you go out with him, sweetheart?” Jackie asked, for what seemed the umpteeth time. Rose’s hands covered her face, attempting to keep the frustration from escaping. “Cause he doesn’t exist, Mum,” she stated calmly, but firmly, all the while heading as far away from her mother as possible. “But--” Jackie managed to get in before Rose finally secured herself safely in her room, closing the door on the conversation once again. Two months of this. Two long months. Rose was eager for the Doctor’s return. Not that John Smith was not a nice man. He was exactly that, a nice man. Shy and reserved, virtually unnoticeable, the perfect unassuming persona to wait out his human days. She was actually quite fond of him in a brotherly sort of way. And ‘babysitting’ him was a very simple task. The TARDIS set her up well so that she did not need to go back to the shops during this extended holiday. And there was the issue. Holiday. After months of travelling all of time and space, being back at home with her mum was quite an adjustment. And the TARDIS sat there in her bedroom, unknown to the outside world, but taunting her with the knowledge that she could not go anywhere. Rose did not let her mum know, but she frequently went back to her bedroom, the one in the TARDIS, when it was time for bed. The poor old girl was just as lonely as she was without the Doctor. Plus, it just felt more like home. She picked up the Doctor’s habit of stroking bits of the TARDIS as she wandered in the control room, turning on the monitor to go through the instructions once again. They were horrible instructions, not giving her any details on the important things, like how to handle her mother through all of this. She paused the recording at the end, the Doctor’s face grinning at her. The twinkle in his eye, the mischief… Oh, how she missed that. Suddenly, there was a bang on the door. “Rose? Rose, are you in that bleeding box again?” Jackie screamed. It echoed throughout the console room and made Rose wince. Her solace was now gone. With a sigh, Rose took one more look at the monitor, softly caressing the frame of his face before hitting the switch. In the blink of an eye, he was gone. Sauntering across the room, Rose opened the door. “Oh, there you are,” Jackie said, irritation in her voice. “I don’t know why you spend so much time in there. John just called. He got back early from work and wondered if you wanted him to ring up for some takeaway.” It was strange how her mum adjusted so quickly to John Smith entering their lives. And even odder that Jackie kept trying to set her up with him! John Smith was a lecturer at uni. John Smith had prospects. John Smith would come over and act as Jackie’s personal handyman. Rose could not get it through her mum’s head that John Smith would soon be leaving. This was why Rose tried to remain unattached. However, she discovered that remaining emotionally unavailable without appearing aloof was a difficult tightrope to walk. “That sounds good,” she said in response to Jackie’s question. “Good. Here, can you run a tenner over to him for our half? The dear man won’t come asking for it. You always have to force it on him.” The admiration in Jackie’s tone was dangerously approaching a new lecture on the ultimate virtues of Mr. John Smith, so Rose snatched the money and quickly left to do as asked. *** After knocking on the door, she waited patiently as she heard the bolts unlock. “Hello, Rose,” Smith said, his whole face immediately lighting up at the sight of her. “I just rang you up-” “Yeah, Mum told me,” Rose answered before he had a chance to finish. “Here’s ten quid for the food,” she added, handing him the bill. “Right, I’ll just order. What do you fancy tonight? Chinese? Indian?” the man offered, heading into the next room before she had a chance to answer. “Make yourself at home.” Rose began to meander around the living room, glancing at the knick-knacks and photos of the Begums that still featured prominently on display. Her eyes then landed on something foreign. A small leather journal laid on the table, a pen still in its bind, keeping the current page. Well, he did say to make herself at home, and curiosity practically begged her to have a look. Picking up the small journal, she opened it to its bookmarked spot and almost gasped at what she saw. Clear as day, though the sketch was crudely and hurried drawn, was the distinct shape of a Dalek. Flipping through the pages, more and more familiar figures popped out of the book. Slitheen, clockwork monsters, gas mask zombies, werewolves… and then she found a page with many faces, two of which she knew and loved quite dearly. ‘My faces,’ it read in a hurried script over and over, as if the writer did not quite believe it. Has he changed that many times? she inwardly pondered. She did not know whether to be thrilled or terrified. The façade was breaking down, reality bleeding around the edges. Did that mean he was still in danger? How could she warn him? Her heart raced. Flipping one more page more, she gasped in utter shock. The motion of her heart was doubled as she heard him entering into the room. She tried to hide the book behind her back. Rose quickly realized that she was completely unsuccessful. Fear had crossed his face as he took in the scene. Rose saw his eyes go wide, gazing at her face, then dropping to her arms, before staring at the book protruding from behind her. She bit her lip instantly knowing what caused it… the very page that had surprised her. “Um, Rose…” he stated, voice pleading. Well, there was no way she could hide what she saw. “That’s me,” she whispered, pulling the book back in front of her and pointing to the image. Faster than she would have believed was possible; Smith crossed the room and snatched the book from her hands. Her eyes snapped up to meet Smith’s, who quickly dropped his. She watched as a redness started below his collar and crawled all the way up to the tip of his forehead. “Uh, what did you see?” he managed to squeak. “Nothing much,” she quickly responded, carefully keeping her reaction to the repeated words of ‘Perfect Rose’ from appearing on her face. “There were some pictures of, uh, monsters… what is it?” His answer was critical. Whatever it was would tell her whether the Doctor had emerged. “They’re just dreams,” Smith explained, staring intently at his shoes. “I have these really elaborate dreams where I’m this, uh, adventurer. And, uh, you’re there too.” He managed a quick glance up to Rose, with a timid smile, evidently scared that she would deem him a loony and never come back. But she still stood there, so he risked the rest. “You were my, uh, companion. Not that there was any, um…you know, it wasn’t like we were…” he added pitifully. Rose waited until Smith risked another glance at her, noticing the surprise in his eyes at her smiling at him. “So, we go on adventures?” she questioned in a friendly tone, “Where?” “Oh, everywhere!” he exclaimed, clearly thrilled to see that she was interested. “We travel in this, uh, box. A 50's Police Box.” “That sounds cramped,” Rose interjected with humour in her voice. The tip of her tongue poke out the side of her mouth, and she watched him lose all coherent thought. She was not sure what issued the sudden silence, so she waited for a moment before repeating her comment. “What was cramped?” he uttered, his brow furrowing in confusion. The blood rushed to his face again. “Oh, yes, the box! No, it was, um, bigger on the inside.” “Sounds amazing,” Rose answered, wistfully. She was certain now that the memories were still lying dormant in this man. The Doctor, even a tiny piece of him, was there...hidden away. “Oh, it is!” Smith responded, his features becoming fully animated. “It is a very exciting life in both space AND time!” His tone seemed to change just then, and for just for a moment, Rose could picture the Doctor rattling off some scientific thing at like 90 miles an hour, his eyes ablaze with enthusiasm. Whatever it was he was talking about, Rose completely missed it until the room suddenly became eerily quiet. “Rose, can I, uh, ask you something?” “Yeah, why not?” she replied, wondering at his sudden change in behaviour. The Doctorish qualities had vanished as she watched him summon human courage. Smith purposely swallowed. Rose could almost hear his mental pep talk as he thought, Blimey, this was hard. Just ask her. “Rose, would you, uh, would you—” Blast it, man, get it out! he inwardly screamed causing the rest to flow out like it was one word. “Wouldyougooutwithme?” Rose’s face immediately dropped knowing that Smith saw all his hopes and dreams come crashing to pieces. She needed a moment to recover. Rose felt tears aching to cloud the corner of her eyes. Whether it was pity for him or anguish for herself at hearing the right words from the wrong man, she did not know. She managed a sad smile. “I… I can’t.” “Oh,” he responded, simply, once again finding his shoes of extreme interest. Gracefully crossing the room, Rose placed a hand on his arm, forcing him to look at her. “You see, I’m just on holiday with my mum. I’m just waiting for a mate of mine to come back, and then we’ll be leaving. But I don’t want to lose you while I’m here. I want us to be good friends. Can we do that, John?” Oi, the Doctor was going to get a piece of her mind when he came back. He never gave any instructions for this situation! How could she possibly look after him if he was too heartbroken to be near her? She noticed that he had not yet answered her question. “If things were different…” At the hope that returned to his face, Rose had to drop the sentence. His expression went completely serene and determined. She was not sure what it meant. But, she was surprised when he suddenly changed the topic. “Well, I need to get the takeaway. I’ll see you later, Rose.” “You’d better,” she answered as she followed him out of the flat. When his head finally disappeared from sight, she breathed a sigh of relief. Slowly, her back slid down the side of the wall until she sat on the ground, cupping her knees. The tears that had threatened her earlier now flowed unabated to an emotion she dared not identify. *** The following month was even stranger than the first two. Much to Jackie’s delight, Rose’s delicate rejection propelled Smith to more amorous endeavours. The chivalrous gentleman fixed absolutely every appliance in the flat, brought flowers at least twice a week (to make the flat cheery, he had said), and seemed to cater to her every need. Rose had never been treated as well by any other bloke. Her heart turned heavy as she realized that John must leave for the Doctor to return. For though she cared for John, she desperately missed that ever-so-impressive, two-hearted, TARDIS-travelling alien. *** When the day finally arrived, Rose was not sure how to go about it. How do you tell a man ‘by the way, you’re not real’? Slowly sliding her tongue across her parched lips, she fingered the watch in her pocket and knocked on his door. “Hello, Rose!” Smith answered happily as he ushered her into the flat. Rose closed her eyes for a moment. He looked much too cheerful. “I need to talk to you.” “Me too,” he stated, not catching the sad tone in her voice. Grabbing her hand in his, he led her to the sofa. Anxiously, he gazed into her face, adoration pouring out of him as he took in every lovely feature. “You go first.” For a moment, she stared in silence. His brown eyes held a light that fascinated her. But it was not him. Not the Doctor. Everything else could appear the same, but his eyes gave it away. “I’m leaving soon,” she said softly, watching a bit of the brightness dissipate. “That friend of mine… he’s coming back, and we’ll be leaving.” Rose held her breath, waiting to see his reaction. *** “He.” The thought that it was a man that she was travelling with never crossed his mind. “You and he…?” Smith could not even finish the question. A sickening feeling was crawling through his stomach and gripping at his throat. “No, nothing like that,” she answered. Smith caught the melancholy tone in her statement. The man was obviously an idiot to have this gorgeous creature devoted to him and not appreciate her as she deserved. Rose took a quick, audible breath as she summoned up her nerve to continue. “My friend… his name is the Doctor.” A flicker of recognition reached his face. “We travel together in the TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.” “Rose, that isn’t funny,” Smith retorted, disappointed at being the butt of this horrid joke. “You’ve been reading my journal again.” “No, John,” she replied sternly as she shook her head negatively, then leaned forward in her seat to take his face with both of her hands. “It’s real. All those adventures. That’s you. That’s the Doctor. He had to hide out for a few months, but it’s over now. All you have to do is open this watch.” Carefully, she dropped her hands and removed the timepiece from her pocket and presented it to him. He just stared at it. He knew he could not touch it. A faint whispering voice seemed to echo from the object. It was true. He knew it was true but desperately wanted to deny it. “So, what happens to me then if this ‘Doctor’ comes back?” he asked, sadness mixed with anger lining his voice. “Am I just supposed to disappear like I never existed? Because, I’m real, Rose!” He dropped to his knees in front of her, staring into those soft brown eyes beginning to cloud with puddles of unshed tears. Desperation rocked him from the very core, poring out of his body, his expression, his speech. “I’m real, and I’m here, and I love you. You hear that? I… love you, Rose Tyler. Will he ever tell you that?” Smith watched as her tears finally broke free of their prison and came cascading down her cheeks. Ever so gently, he stroked her cheekbones, removing the salty liquid from sight. Rose said nothing; she just watched as his eyes absorbed every aspect of her face. “But that doesn’t matter, does it?” he whispered, finally. “You love him.” She could not argue with that, but Smith watched as she would not she confirm it either. Instead, she closed her eyes, releasing a fresh batch of tears. He leaned even closer to her, his breath still ever so softly triggering the senses of her neck. “If I open this watch,” he said tenderly, more to himself than to her, “then I’ll get you, but will never tell you. The man’s a fool!” The last sentence was said with such venom that Rose’s eyes snapped open. He knew she saw his resolve. The decision had been made. “Don’t cry,” he said, his voice bathing her in warmth. “Before I go, I want to show you that I’m the better man in at least one respect. I’ll do what he’s too afraid to try.” Without waiting for her to comprehend his intentions, he closed the small distance between them to claim her lips with his own. A quick sob escaped Rose as he adoringly displayed a lifetime of emotion that he would never be able to give her. Rose responded in kind, issuing her goodbye in the sweetest way possible. Smith pulled back slowly, savouring the last chance to watch her unaware. By the time she opened her eyes, he was smiling. There was one last thing that he could do for her. “Now, if those dreams I had are really him, then I am going to make sure this gets said since that daft man lacks courage. He loves you. He is in love with you. And why he won’t act on it is beyond me. I suspect you know that already, but you deserve to hear it.” Smith then backed away, taking the watch still clutched in her palm. With his free hand, he tugged at her fingers, raising her from the sofa. “Time for you to go,” he said gently. Her mouth opened to protest, but Smith stopped her with a finger to her lips. “Go, love. He’ll come to you when he’s back.” His finger dropped, and he smiled at her once again. “Come on,” he coaxed sweetly, “before you go, show me that smile you gave me three months ago.” His own grin widened, and she had no choice but to reciprocate. “That’s the one.” With that, her smile became even brighter. He sighed longingly and motioned to the door. Rose nodded understandingly and left Smith for the last time. *** A short time later, a man entered the Tyler flat. Seeing Jackie, he flashed his boyish grin as he questioned, “Hello, where’s Rose?” “In her room,” she answered offhandedly, before turning around to see who it was. “Oh! You can’t go in her room, John. I’ll go get her.” “That’s alright,” he responded. “I know where it is. I just don’t remember where the TARDIS is parked, and I’d like to change.” “The TARDIS?” Jackie exclaimed, her voice entering a higher octave. “Doctor?” The Doctor’s face lit up, the beaming grin stretching further across his face. “That’s me!” Jackie’s countenance turned cold as she marched straight to him and slapped him clear across the cheek. “Oi!” he countered, rubbing the sore flesh. The same one as last time even. “What was that for?” “Whatever it was that made my daughter cry,” she answered parentally. “Now go fix whatever you messed up.” The Doctor did not even respond as he headed for Rose’s room. A quick glance informed him that she was not there, but the TARDIS was, causing his hearts to leap in his chest. Oh, how he missed the old girl. However, there was another girl he was more anxious to see. He spied her sitting on the jumpseat as soon as he entered. Her eyes, still puffy from crying, turned wide as she caught sight of him. *** “Are you…? Who…?” Rose could not seem to get a proper question out of her mouth. She was not sure what to ask at this point. Did the Doctor finally return? Did John refuse to open the watch? And how would it seem if she showed enthusiasm for the Doctor without knowing which one came back to her? “It’s me, Rose,” he answered, stroking a piece of TARDIS near him. “I’m back.” It only took a moment for her to see the difference in his eyes, even from across the room. Oh, it was him! It was really him! A small squeal escaped her lips as she ran to throw herself in his arms. He caught her, keeping her body tightly against his chest as he swung her about the room. “I missed you,” she breathed. “I missed you too,” he mumbled into her hair. The Doctor marvelled at how good it felt to hold her in his arms again. He lowered her down to flash that rakish grin at her, only to be greeted by one very annoyed young woman. “I ought to slap you,” she stated. “What is with Tyler women and slapping?” Rose ignored the question. A combination of anxiety mixed with relief came flooding out of her. “Don’t you ever do that to me again! Do you have any idea what I’ve gone through for the last three months?” “Yes.” The simple answer stopped Rose’s argument in its tracks. “I remember everything, Rose.” Her eyes widened in horror as her hand instinctively covered her lips. He smiled softly, gently pulling her hand away from her face, but keeping it locked in his. “And, he was right. He had more courage than I did.” His eyes radiated the hope that she knew what he was trying to say. Having Smith's memories tucked away, seeing how this simple human was willing to take a risk at happiness, of winning the woman of his dreams... It had profoundly altered his long held opinion on the subject. John Smith had been right. The Doctor was a coward. But not for long. Rose nodded at his statement, believing she comprehended his meaning. That was just the way they were. Undefined, but fine with undefined. She could live with that. Indeed, she could be quite content realizing that she had snogged that face twice, conveniently ignoring the fact that both times had other people inhabiting one body or the other. She realized that these thoughts were not leading her in a direction she could go right now. “Well,” she began, backing away from him and pulling her hand from his. Too many emotions were engulfing her today. She needed to get back to normalcy and fast. “I’ll just say ‘bye to Mum, and we’ll be off.” She was bounding towards the door when the Doctor’s voice stopped her. “Hold on, Rose,” he pleaded. “He left a note, you know.” Rose quickly turned to stare at him in bewilderment. “A note for me?” The Doctor laughed, breaking the heaviness that was clouding the room. “Not exactly.” Glancing at his pocket, he produced a piece of paper which she instantly recognized as a blank page from Smith’s journal. Silently, he handed it to her to read. Carefully unfolding the parchment, Rose felt her heart in her stomach as she glanced at Smith’s last words. ‘Stop being an idiot. Don’t wait to kiss her goodbye again. Kiss her hello.’ It took a moment for the meaning to sink in. She looked up to see the mischief in his eyes. Her heart leapt in glee to view it there again. Oh, how she had missed him. Rose was fully prepared for some witty remark on what John had said, but she knew she would cherish his intention. Thus, she was pleasantly surprised when the Doctor said, in a low voice, his meaning quite clear... “Hello, Rose.” A giggle escaped in anticipation as his head descended towards her. Just before the first tentative touch, she whispered, “Thank you, John.” Rose sensed her Doctor’s definitive agreement as he claimed her mouth. The End
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